Motherhood in Passing: Is being selfish a bad thing?

Motherhood is a theme that is very central in many of the works that we have read this year. In Grendel, Bitch Planet, Macbeth, The Handmaid's Tale and now in Passing. Motherhood and womanhood have almost become interchangeable terms. This emphasis on how motherhood shoes identity is especially seen with Irene's character in Passing. She defines herself as a mother and claims to have her life revolve around her sons. Clare on the other hand has other views on motherhood. On page 240 there was a n interaction between Clare and Irene that expressed their views towards mother hood.  "'Children aren't everything,' was Clare Kendry's answer to that. "There are other things in the world, though I admit some people don't seem to suspect it.'... Irene replied: 'You know you don't mean that, Clare. You're only trying to tease me. I know very well that I take being a mother rather seriously. I am wrapped up in my boys and the running of my house. I can't help it. And, really, I don't think it's anything to laugh at.'" Clare clearly is illustrated as a woman who doesn't really define herself in relation to her child Margery. She almost comes off as selfish, but this is all in Irene's perspective.
Irene is someone who is very stubborn and thinks that there are right and wrong ways to do things. One of those things involves how a woman fulfills her role as a mother; however, I disagree. Nella Larsen strategically explores the concept of binaries like race, and gender, but she also touches on binaries like right and wrong. Not everything is black and white (no pun intended) and not everything can be labeled. How Clare defines motherhood may be different from Irene but that doesn't make her a bad person or even a bad mother. Clare is presented as a character that puts herself first and tries to strategically further herself in life. Why is that wrong?  Is it so bad for a woman to put herself first? There are instances where Clare demonstrates behavior that is deplorable, but doesn't everyone? Countlessly we see woman portrayed as selfish for making a choice for themselves and not thinking about every other person around them. The way we think about women is always in relation to another person: mother of, wife of, daughter of, etc. Maybe it's time we start thinking of women as people too. 

Comments

  1. UnknownDecember 11, 2017 at 2:03 PM

    This was such an interesting read! I have to admit that I had not previously thought of Clare in light that was flattering by any means. Relating this to Gay's work, in a sense, I suppose I can admit I was being a bad feminist. I am not one to shy away from a chance to share my opinion on matters regarding female rights, but while reading the book I constantly judged Clare for both trying to pass amongst both communities and for neglecting her daughter (from my perspective). Clare, as a human being and as a mother, has a right to be selfish, to parent her daughter as she pleases, and to be unapologetic.

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