Terms and Conditions of Friendship

In "Bad Feminist: How to Be Friends with Another Woman," by Roxanne Gay, she lists the terms and conditions of being friends with other women. As a woman myself, I found all of these extremely fascinating. As much as I'd like to have had a disclaimer before reading it that could describe how these aren't limited to the rules of friendship with women, but to be applied to all relationships.
Gay spends a significant amount of time throughout this book describing how she interprets herself to be a "bad" feminist, then continues on to qualify her own actions as the result purely of her humanness. We cannot expect perfection as women, people, or advocates, so it is unfair for that pressure to be put on us by other people. Friendships, like our own experiences, will each be independent of others; so, to have somewhat universal thoughts on how to be successful in friendships offers a bit of humor through the accuracy in challenging each other to see ourselves and our friends as humans first.
On page 49, rule #7 states, "Surround yourself with women you can get sloppy drunk with who won't draw stupid things on your face if you pass out, and who will help you puke if you over-celebrate, and who will also tell you if you get sloppy drunk too much or behave badly when you are sloppy drunk." Any friend who, as the saying goes, won't be there in your worst doesn't deserve you at your best, is a friend worthy of being around. For men and women alike, I think this can apply.

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