How to Be Friends with Another Woman Response

In this piece, Gay makes the point that women cannot attack one another, "Don't tear other women down, because even if they're not your friends, they are women and this is just as important." After reading this I began to think about myself critically and the way that I have treated other women in the past. This point is one of the ways in which I would consider myself to be a bad feminist and know that it is something that I need to work on. It also got me thinking as to why this is such a common thing for women to do to one another. Every female is guilty of gossiping with another friend about what that girl was wearing or what some other girl did to her hair, but why do we do this? Women are put in constant competition with one other because of society. We are taught that we must always be competing to have the best clothes, the best hair, the best shoes, etc. Therefore we tear other women down to feel as if we have achieved this when in reality it is unachievable. The only way to truly beat society and this idea is to work together as women and build one another up. We must show the world that we are not in competition with one another and that we are done letting society tell us how a women should look or dress. So instead of gossiping with my friends when I  see a women wearing something that I may not necessarily like, I will compliment her and let her know that I stand by her decision to express herself freely.

Comments

  1. Gina EnyartDecember 10, 2017 at 2:29 PM

    This post really stood out to me because I am also guilty of tearing other women down behind their backs. Society has made being a female such a competition, that whether it be about boys, school or fashion, someone is always mad about something. In order for women to work past the negative stigmas that society has instilled for us, we must be better at supporting one another.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Allison RossDecember 11, 2017 at 5:49 PM

    I completely agree with both of them on this one. I think of all the passages we read from Bad Feminist, this one probably stood out to me the most because it is so relatable to every girl. How often to we say mean things and make life a competition, even between our best friends? Lately, I’ve been trying to take that kind of negativity out of my life and everyday vocabulary and you don’t realize how much it is ingrained in us until you start to think about each sentence you speak or each thought that crosses your mind.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

What We Hunger For: Deep Thoughts

"Just because you survive something does not mean you are strong." To be completely honest, this story was one that I could almost watch in my head. Perhaps part of that was because it was written vividly with strong imagery and diction; perhaps because I could see a reflection of myself in Gay's story. This year has been a transformative one for me, as I have learned to become more self-aware and acknowledging that there is immense power in naming our struggles. I am consistently told by my friends how "strong, courageous, and unfuckwithable" I am... which, I think, genuinely stems from my inability to be comfortable. I've survived too much. I've been exposed to and made it through too much... and apparently, the fact that I managed to make it "out" of those immediate situations is seen as strong. However, I am very thankful that Gay made the comment above. To me, I've always seen strength as how people cope with the long-term effects o...
Read more

A word is a word is a word

In "Bad Feminist: Take One," Gay opens up about her inner quarrels regarding her identification as a feminist. This is something I, too struggled with. At the time, the term was gaining a less than popular connotation, with a minority of the movement taking it upon themselves to spread their isolated belief that women rise above the equilibrium of society; they are superior to men and all men are inherently awful. It is easy to understand, then, why a young girl that does not share these extreme views and stereotypes may not want to be a placed beneath a spot light during such a tense situation, and would subsequently ditch the term. Ditching the term, for me at least, did not mean that I lost my way and would slowly evolve into the submissive, modest, and good woman deemed to be the ideal. Although, ditching the term is controversial and some may see it as a betrayal to the movement executed by a ‘ bad ’ woman. If the individuals remains true to their beliefs and conti...
Read more

Fifty Shades of Fantasy

I've never been too intrigued by all the 50 Shades of Grey concept. As a social work major, reading the first book in the series and watching the first movie with my aunt (yes- my AUNT...), all I could think of when I was exposed to that plot was the lack of focus on Christian's real need and outcry for help. The novel flips the 'usual' narrative of the woman being the victim and her inability to retain a healthy relationship, and shows us a man who seeks domination and control, which- some argue- is what women *really* want. I will not be the first to argue that point. In "The Trouble With Prince Charming," Gay references 50 Shades and how the author uses a disgusting sense of erotica that we can't help but be turned on by, to romanticise the idea of pure abuse, submission, and toxicity in the text. I will commend the story on one thing: Christian is adamant about consent. Mostly because it could result in a MAJOR lawsuit against him if ever interprete...
Read more